#the dancestors

[completelyandtotalyuneventful]

The main 12 trolls are friends because they have have complex interconnected pasts and have bonded through the shared trauma that was life Alternia, and they are trying to work through their struggles together no matter how toxic their friendships may be.

The dancestors are friends because they are all garbage people and literally no one else wants to hang out with them.

[seagullcharmer]

girls :]

[poisonwithkaffeflavour]

I think the idea of Porrim and Kankri having a mother-son relationship is actually pretty cute even when they're basically the same age lol

[mindfang-srevenge]

I'm still on the topic so here's Static's Official Dancestor Coffee Tier List, of which of course means ranking the Dancestors based on who's going to be the best to go out and get coffee with. Not strictly in a date sense; just in a hangout sense.

Aranea. Before she went power hungry she was a nice, genial woman who told rambling stories. She will ensure the conversation never falls flat, but also she will definitely notice when your eyes glaze over and she's completely used to it. She's just nice and chill and-- when not trying desperately to live up to Mindfang's shadow-- wants to be nice to other people. You have a positive experience getting coffee with Aranea and she seems completely genuine about it.

Porrim's a feminist! And you're going to know that Porrim is a feminist. But she has enough other hobbies that it waters down the extreme social justice (unlike Kankri, who has no other hobbies). She's probably working on a really cool sewing project and is willing to tell you all about it. She wears nice jewelry and nice makeup and has nice tattoos. She may try to ask you back to her place afterwards but will be nice about it and will understand if you say no. Anything that Porrim says seems to be absolutely genuine and she seems to give good advice.

Latula, who's a R4D SK4T3R G4L and will probably not be outright mean to you or anyone nearby during your coffee hangout, which is the absolute minimum. She will skateboard there and she will show you cool tricks. She's got a great taste in music. She's a little bit loud. There's a constant cloying background feeling that she's putting on a show to make you happy.

Rufioh. It's an amicable experience above all else. He probably does not try to ask you out or say anything that's out of line with the Hays Code. He's pleasant to be around, if not the most scintillating. He's an anime guy and I have known a lot of anime guys, which is both a positive and negative in and of itself. The hangout falls flat not because of either party's horrific douchebaggery (as there is with some dancestors) but just because you'd talked about everything you wanted to talk about. If you're charming enough, he might pay for your drink.

Cronus, and him ranking this high is definitely due to personal bias. Sure he's a sleazeball. Sure he's a creep. Sure he's at least mostly genetically Space Hitler. He's genuinely rated as "the worst character in Homestuck". But hear me out, I'd fall for the greaser gambit hook line and sinker with no puns intended. I am, unfortunately, the kind of gal who this shtick works on. This platonic coffee outing could willingly turn into a non-platonic coffee date.

Mituna? Listen he's my little guy but I'm kind of worried about him. He's kind of hyper already and also not a fantastic conversationalist. Keeps making uncomfortable sex puns, but is otherwise probably cool to hang out with. He has and can ride a skateboard, although I probably wouldn't ask him to do tricks. Probably has a phenomenal taste in music, maybe even better than Latula's. Potentially positive experience.

Kurloz, who's kind of the waypoint between positive and negative experiences. There's absolutely no conversation, he orders and then does not communicate anything else. You try to talk to him and he stares at you blankly. He's probably stoned. I'm not entirely sure that he can drink coffee because, again, his mouth is stitched shut and it's probably at least a little bit disturbing to look at! It's not the best you can do but it's also not the worst you can do.

Meenah. She doesn't want to be there and will tell you so herself. Keeps trying get you to join Multi-Level Marketing schemes she just made up. You give her money now, and she'll send you the product later. Gets a call halfway through the hangout, takes it then and there and loudly. You're not sure if it would be polite or impolite to leave, especially considering she's the heiress.

Meulin, who comes in visibly stoned and won't shut up about her ships. Listen, y'all, I can't stand the 2012 'all the feels' 'otp' shipping vernacular and I'm easily either annoyed or grossed out by ships. I'm not anti ship-- to each their own-- but I oftentimes actively avoid the culture. Meulin is shipping culture and cute squeaky voices condensed into one woman who also likes to pretend she's a cat sometimes. She knocks your drink off the table if you put it too close to the edge and then she laughs at you and then she wants to talk about how much she wants all of her friends to get together. She's got charts and you're down both your coffee and the next three hours.

Damara, but listen. She ranks low but she's a great character, the implications of almost everything about her are fascinating. Just . . . not someone I'd want to take out to coffee. She's undressing you with her eyes the entire time, especially when the coffee was meant to be entirely platonic. She keeps saying hard-to-decipher things in East Beforan that you're almost certain are weird and hypersexual, but you don't know enough East Beforan yourself to catch exactly what those little comments mean. All in all a lot of my issues with Mituna are the same issues I have with Damara- ie, hypersexuality-- but Damara is Worse about it. You manage to keep a conversation going but it's deeply uncomfortable the whole time.

Horuss, mostly because he's going to be weird and sweaty and twitchy the entire time. Also he's going to be absolutely terrible at making conversation. Dead silence, you can't really make eye contact because of the goggles, you can't tell where he's looking but you can tell that he's sweating bullets and keeps twitching around. Whatever he's looking at, it's almost never you. I'm not comfortable with the energy in this coffeeshop today.

Kankri (this is NOT a Kankri apprectiation space.). Bastard man. Dosen't shut up, and most definitely DOES NOT let you get a word in edgewise. Will not stop talking about how drinking coffee is somehow innately disrespectful to anti-deforestation efforts and the fact that his iced sugar disaster came in a plastic cup is deeply offensive to like everyone ever and then-- AND THEN!! He starts talking to every. single. passerby about all of the same things. Multiple people. Multiple hour rant. Did I mention he constantly carries-- AND USES-- a pay-attention-when-I'm-speaking whistle.

[pastabaguette]

why am i drawing the dancestors? i don’t even like any of them, except maybe damara

i don’t even know if aranea would even do this. i just thought the post was really, really funny and i wanted to draw something for it

horuss and rufioh would be the annoying pda couple that blocks your way when you’re trying to walk

sorry if i’m completely mischaracterizing everyone. i haven’t read openbound since i read homestuck.

[eggsploded]

heiress eternal

[gloviiz]

Arachnophobia exposure therapy.

[ozuzo]

Happy 413 to the webcomic that changed everything! 💖

[onlysushicat]

the sillies

[popomerrygamz]

Having some fun and making new Porrim talksprites.

Should I make more?

[5weetmeat]

since some of you are confused

[completelyandtotalyuneventful]

Since the general pattern for Humanstuck aus is to make the beta trolls the younger siblings, the dancestors the older siblings, and the alternian ancestors the parents, I think we should start making the beforus ancestors the grandparents.

Beforus Feferi : I think that all poor people should be adopted by rich people like dogs :) that will solve poverty :)

Meenah : ok grandma let’s get you back to bed

Then they can start having ancient family beef with one another. Karkat’s grandpa hates Feferi’s grandma, Karkat’s dad hates Feferi’s mom, and Meenah hates Kankri, so every time Karkat and Feferi hang out or invite each other to the others birthday party it’s always suuuper awkward. Meanwhile most of the Captors and the Amporas hate each other but their respective grandpas are best friends and hang out all the time so they’re always forced into awkward friend reunions and family dinners with them.

Idk I feel like we could have more fun with the beforus ancestors if we wanted to.

[crabfungi]

Happy late valentines <3

Havent touched hs since I was but a lad... got dragged back to the pits of hell it seems

I liked the sketch lol

[piffydog]

New pfp just dropped

[c4tsc4pe]

dancestor redesigns

[pastabaguette]

a slew of old and unfinished artwork.